A Crumby Story
Originally published on September 21th, 2012 by Dimitri Bouniol. #FNADNST
Meet Joe, the crumb.
Joe had just escaped a rather difficult situation.
There he was, happily part of a large family that was a cracker.
In fact, he was just in the middle of a conversation with a grain of salt that happened to be near by.
But Joe's world quite literally shook like it never had before.
It seemed like he and the rest of the crumbs and grains of salt and various other cracker bits were lifted into mid air.
It was as if gravity no longer worked, or maybe it was working in a direction Joe had never observed before.
All he was trying to do was charm the grain of salt that he was spending his time with, getting to know her better.
Her name was Julie, a charming grain of salt really.
She had a strong taste of things, and Joe liked that about her.
But as they were being lifted into this unknown abyss, Joe could say nothing to reassure her.
Moments later, it seemed they had stopped moving.
Joe tried his best to calm down, and tried to tell Julie everything was going to be ok.
But he couldn't be more wrong.
Suddenly, another crash came in.
From it, a strong odor erupted, and Joe and Julie met their new neighbors: a colony of moldy cheese.
They were just as frightened as Joe and Julie were, but somehow, being brought together like this calmed them down.
It was reassuring to meet others in the same situation, after all.
Everything was however far, very far in fact, from over.
Both the cracker and the slice of cheese started accelerating quickly.
At this moment, Joe knew his life would come to an end if he did nothing.
He knew he needed to break off from the rest of the cracker, if he wanted to survive that is.
He turned around to tell Julie the plan, but to his horror, it seemed she felt much more reassured staying with the colony of Cheese.
It happened to be that the colony of Cheese was actually from France, and Julie could simply not resist Monsieur Frederique's charmingly romantic accent.
Joe, although horrified by this situation, decided it would be best to leave them be.
After all, how could he ruin somebody else's romantic relationship just for his own benefit…
He felt that perhaps he was too selfish, and decided it was time to move on.
As his resolve was set, he broke all his bonds with the rest of the cracker.
He bid an Adieux to Monsieur Frederique and Julie, and jumped off for good.
He started free falling, but perhaps he was so light that he didn't happen to go very fast at all.
Since he had broken off, Joe's perspective of the world around him widened.
At first, all he could see was the cracker, but as the cracker got smaller, he was something holding the cracker.
Nevertheless, all this was meaningless to Joe, who was but a crumb.
All he could see was that the cracker was soon destroyed and crushed by a large being far above.
Within a second, Joe finally floated onto a hard surface.
He might have confused it for a cracker, but this surface was made of metal instead.
In the distance, he noticed many more crackers, all perfectly lined up, and several slices of cheese.
In the opposite direction was what seemed to be huge bottles, some even laying on their side.
Joe had only ever seen bottles of this kind on packaging materials, but they always seemed full.
To his left was the enormous creature who had destroyed the cracker.
Joe felt utter disgust for this thing that caused this whole situation to start.
He wasn't so much angered by the fact that it had destroyed the cracker, but by the fact that it had done so in a way that introduced Julie to the colony of cheese.
He needed to take revenge, but what could he do? After all, he was but a crumb.
However, it seemed he had a chance. The large creature seemed more interested in the large light to Joe's right.
Upon looking at it, Joe was slightly mesmerized. It was as if the lights were dancing around, fully coordinated.
He noticed some text, so he tried to read it.
But he couldn't make sense of it: [sender performSele… Joe had no clue what to think of it.
All he knew was this this was his chance to escape, since the creature looked deeply occupied.
Joe caught a strand of wind and blew himself in the direction of the other crackers.
Upon arriving, he tried to warn them of their fate to be destroyed by the creature, but none would believe him.
He was at a loss. What could he do to remedy this whole disaster?
The creature suddenly went and grabbed another cracker along with a piece of cheese. It was at this point Joe thought of something.
He told the remaining crackers to watch carefully as the creature placed a new Cheese colony onto the cracker.
And he told them that wince this happened, all the beautiful bits of salt would leave the cracker in favor for the citizens of the Cheese.
This, to Joe's surprise, infuriated the remaining crackers.
Although they didn't mind being crushed by this gross creature, high above this land, they did mind having their grains of salt stollen from them.
So they thought up a plan.
When the creature came for the next cracker, they would stick together, trying their very best to stay glued to one another.
At this point, the creature did not seem to mind grabbing more that one cracker, and continued to lift it.
The creature placed a bit of cheese onto one of the crackers, and lifted it to its jaws of destruction.
Upon arrival, the crackers yelled in unison "Now!", and upon hearing this, they broke into millions upon millions of crumbs, right into the creature's mouth, before it had a chance to bite down.
Surprised by this, the creature inhaled the crumbs and began to choke, and as a result ran off somewhere.
Joe interpreted this as a complete victory, and praised the crumbs who managed to fall back to the table.
But behind Joe, two eyes had been eying the crackers and the cheese.
A faint "meow" surprised Joe, so he turned around as quickly as he could.
Unfortunately, as he was doing so, a large tongue came down to the surface of the table, and licked Joe up in one scoop.
THE END
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